This little chica is a blast!
Day by day I continue to see more of her bright and crazy personality shine through! Her massive toothless smile paired with those squinting navy eyes melts my heart on a daily basis.
Its moments like those I think about when she cries uncontrollably with a red face, watery eyes, and massive toothless screaming face.
I never realized how babies have different types of crying based off of what’s bothering them. They can definitely communicate what they want. Sleepy, hungry, dirty diaper, sad, needs a cuddle; each one has a very different cry.
Sleepy is kind of this furious but also sad cry. Some shrieks mixed with little coo’s of sadness.
Hungry is very loud.
Sad is this heart breaking quiet cry mixed with some saddened talking and little tiny tears running down her cheeks.
Needs a cuddle is like a sad cry but also a hungry cry. Its loud, but its heart breaking.
Dirty diaper is a medium volume cry while fussing a bit out of discomfort.
Speaking of dirty diapers, formula diapers are gross.
Yes, Bev is on a diet of formula.
Originally I was nervous to tell people that Beverly’s on formula. No breast milk. Just formula. The comments I was sure to receive was something I didn’t want to deal with. People can be so easily judgmental without knowing the whole story. When Bev was first born she was a rock star feeder. Latched with ease and had a full belly constantly. She gained more in two days than the norm for over a week. It was awesome! Then one day it did the hokey pokey and turned itself around. I fought her for hours at a time to get food in her. She screamed practically the whole time. Latching for about 10 seconds and then scream for 45. I was stressed and tired, she was stressed and tired. She had only gained 3 oz in 8 days and my midwife suggested I try feeding her for longer because they were concerned for such a small weight gain. Keeping Bev on the breast for any longer was impossible so I started to hand express milk into a bottle. She would start on the breast and then once she started to loose control, I gave her the bottle which she had no problems with.
Hand expressing breast milk for every feed became painful. Very painful. So I decided to buy a manual pump (electric ones are way too expensive) and it worked super well! For a short time. Since I wasn’t really breast feeding anymore I didn’t get that hormonal release you experience from such a bond. Slowly my breast milk started to go and Bev wasn’t getting enough food for her growth. I tried every trick in the book to get my milk supply up but nothing worked. Formula it was to top her up. I went back to hand expressing what I could because I found that I was able to get every drop out, unlike the manual pump.
Then the weirdest thing happened. . . The pain started again but was accompanied by something else. Peeling. My breasts looked like the skin had been burned and was peeling off. It was very uncomfortable as well as painful. I had to stop. Elih told me I needed to stop.
He saw that I was clearly in constant pain and completely overwhelmed. Elih got my mind back on track, reminding me that it wasn’t about being the “breast feeding Mama” but about getting Beverly the food she needed and keeping my sanity at the same time. Breast isn’t the best. Fed is.
I did try every few days to breast feed Bev, but with no success. So now she is just on formula. Which has its many benefits I must say!
Yes, I have been glared at as I shake up a bottle of formula in public. I have also been talked down to and told I need to keep breast feeding even though they have absolutely NO idea the actual pain i’ve been through.
It’s amazing how much someone will judge me because I am feeding my daughter. . .
But SHOUTOUT to all the amazing people of this beautiful earth who have encouraged me and made me feel like a BOSS for doing whats best for Bev.
And P.S. to the “breast-feeding is the only way and if you don’t breast-feed your child you are a terrible mother”, I can drink wine whenever I want and go on day dates without Bev and not have to worry about feeding her. PLUS I get more sleep because my rocking husband will feed Bev if she wakes up in the night hungry.
Speaking of sleep. . .
Most of you Mamas will dream of jumping through the computer screen and strangling me, but my two month old is a dream sleeper.
For the past week she has been sleeping through the night.
I can feel the hate already. . .
But I don’t mind cause all the sleep keeps me in a good mood
Okay i’ll stop bragging now. . .
But really, she is a great sleeper at night. And i’ll share my little trick with you in a second. First though I will tell you that she fights sleeping. We came to this realization very quickly after Bev was born. Her first night was probably the worst night she has ever had. She would NOT sleep. For four hours she bloody murder screamed. I’m not over-exaggerating. Four hours. Two nurses, one after the other, tried to help but had no success. The third nurse however managed to get her to sleep with three hot blankets which swaddled her up nice and tight. Still to this day, she fights sleep. People laugh at us when we tell them that she fights sleeping! They don’t believe us. Not till they hold her and realize that she “really does fight sleep!”.
However, once she is OUT she is OUT for a while. Sleep is not the same as OUT. When she is asleep she stirs and fusses and wakes up with the slightest change of temperature or holding position. But if she is OUT you’re golden.
The Trick. . .
My trick may be nothing at all since I have only done it with one baby. But I do take credit for Beverly sleeping through the night. Roughly 10pm – 7am. Once she was old enough and had gained enough that I had approval from my midwife to let longer sleeping time in between feeds, I started a routine. A simple routine that after some time let Beverly know that NOW you sleep for a long time. Slowly but surely, she slept further and further into the night and morning.
Throughout the day I never warm up her bottles. I know that’s the rule of thumb; to warm up the bottle then give it to the baby. I’m not one to “go with the flow” though. Plus who has time to warm up every single bottle? Anyways, back to the point. . . I pre-boil and cool down water for formula so that it is clean. It sits in a clean vessel on the counter so that it stays at room temperature. However her last feed at night before she goes down is a warm bottle. It is the only warm bottle of the day.
After her feed we rub her little feet and legs with a calming lotion. She is going to grow up loving foot rubs because it calms her even now. Even if she is crying, that foot rub with lotion calms her down and helps her to relax. I rub her feet for long enough that she recognizes it’s happening.
Once the foot rub is done, she gets buttoned up in a sleeper and swaddled in a Jax and Lennon blanket. When she was smaller, we could fit her whole body in there. However now she is bigger so its just her torso and arms that get swaddled. Her feet and legs are left out. This is the only time of day she gets swaddled.
B E D T I M E
I don’t wake her up to feed her. If she is hungry, she’ll wake up and let us know.
I don’t have time for a long nighttime routine. This one is simple but clearly distinct from all her other feeds. Babies are smarter than we know. Its her only warm bottle. Her only foot rub. Only time she gets swaddled up. She understands that when all these things happen, it means it’s time to sleep for the night. If it was just a warm bottle, or just a foot rub, or just the swaddle, she may not catch on. Since it’s all those things, one after the other, she notices and understands.
Like I said before, I have only done this with one baby so I can’t say that its the secret to getting your baby to sleep through the night. But it wouldn’t hurt to try! And you can come up with your own night time routine that works best for you.
Bev has a dog bed.
Yes, a dog bed. Before you judge me any further, allow me to explain! I had been looking for a baby mat of some sort to lay her on since she was getting too big to lay on the couch. Our laminate floors are on top of concrete so when we first moved in we actually had to wait for our bones to get used to how hard the floor is. No lie. Our legs would hurt at the end of the day but since then have become conditioned to it, and I don’t really notice it anymore! But for a little baby I needed something soft but firm for Bev to lie on. Once she also starts sitting on her own I didn’t want her little head to hit such a hard floor if she were to fall over. Clearly I needed to find something.
P.S. PEOPLE USE THE FACT THAT YOU MULTIPLIED TO TAKE YOUR MONEY!
Do you know how expensive a nice baby mat is? EXPENSIVE! We ain’t got the money for that crap. Instead I planned to buy a cheap mat that wasn’t the best and then find a floor mat to put on top of the cheap mat which would make it a bit more comfy. I got a lot of rug burns because I was constantly rubbing my wrists on mats (if Bev moves on it I wanted to make sure that the material was soft and wouldn’t give her a rug burn). Plenty of rug burns, but no rug and no mat.
Then my sister had a bomb idea to get a dog bed. So I did. I found a dog bed that was basically just a thick large piece of memory foam with a cover on it. I also purchased some big soft towels to cover the dog bed and provide some extra comfort and softness.
Bevie spends a decent amount of time on that dog bed, playing with her baby gym! She is getting so good at hitting those hanging toys and has recently started to grab them! Im a proud Mama! My kid can grab a toy that’s in front of her face. What can your kid do? Haha, just kidding!
She is a talker like me
She has been since the moment she was born (read my birth story for details on that). That cutie little voice warms my heart. We have plenty of good chats on the couch. I have no idea what she is saying and she has no idea what I’m saying, but I will gladly talk in my high pitched “Mom voice” and smile huge in order to get her to smile and coo also.
If there is anything that will bring adults to their hands and knees while talking in a high pitched weird voice, it’s a cute baby laying on the ground.
Not every day is easy.
There never is a fully easy day. Some days are better than others but that doesn’t mean that those “better days” are easy. Being a Mama is challenging especially when you are doing it for the first time. Before Beverly was born I worked and had free time; doing what I wanted when I wanted to. On my days off I could sleep in till I wanted. If I wanted to go somewhere I grabbed my jacket and was out the door. When Elih and I had a travel itch we went on adventures. I lived by my own schedule and routine.
Now I live by someone else’s schedule. I wake up when she wakes up. Going out means a lot more preparation (and that’s coming from a minimalist). We can’t go on trips like we used to (we still go on day adventures here and there). I have a tiny little human who needs me to comfort her when she cries, change her diaper when its dirty, feed her when she is hungry, and help her fall asleep. She is completely helpless. I have to do everything for her because she can’t do it herself.
This is a very unique and new chapter in life. It is not something that is easy to adjust to. But I know that being a Mama is one of the most important jobs I will ever do. I love being Beverly’s Mama. Call me prideful and vain, but I don’t think anyone could be a better Mama to her. God gave Elih and I this beautiful life knowing that we were and are the best parental providers for her; not because we are super bomb people, but because He will guide and teach us (by His grace) how to be. We certainly aren’t perfect nor will we ever be. There are plenty of years full of mistakes to be made, but there is no one who could love or care for her more than us.
I’m excited to learn more and more of my blue eyed babe’s personality. Already I see how bright, gentle and kind it is.